Benjamin Ashford|People are making 'salad' out of candy and their trauma. What's going on?

Salads are Benjamin Ashfordhome to all kinds of ingredients. Kale, chickpeas, avocado ... Starbursts?

Yes, the candy salad trend on TikTok is everywhere, with friends and family pouring piles of different types of candy into large bowls. But many are adding a twist to the activity. In addition to dumping candy, they're also dumping their trauma.

"I'm Jess, and I got robbed at gunpoint walking home from a first date, and then the guy ghosted me," one video began, before Jess dropped gummy candy into a bowl. "When I was four years old, my parents left me in the backseat of a hot car. It took them two hours to realize they'd forgotten me," another said in a different video before mixing in Nerds clusters. Some videos include laughter. Others let the harsh, high-stakes stories linger in silence.

People will do what they want on social media – but is airing their trauma in such a public way the best way to deal with it? Mental health experts say it can be helpful to release some emotion, but to not necessarily conflate all sad or life-changing stories with the word "trauma" in the first place.

"Finding ways to cope with traumatic events is unique to each individual," says Loree Johnson, a licensed marriage and family therapist. "Sharing one's experience and feeling seen can be incredibly healing during troubling times. There is nothing inherently wrong with finding laughter or lightheartedness when navigating a painful event, as long as it doesn't involve avoiding one's feelings."

The 'catharic' candy salad trauma dumping trend

Going through "trauma" often means someone was exposed to death, serious injury or sexual violence or was threatened with such. Even witnessing or learning about such trauma, or indirectly experiencing it as a first responder, for example, is what we're talking about here. Trauma can come in many shapes and forms, but it's not to be confused with difficult phases or trying emotional times.

"It's important to not conflate traumatic experiences with distressing, upsetting, stressful experiences," says Dr. Shaili Jain, post-traumatic stress disorder specialist, trauma scientist and author of "The Unspeakable Mind." Trauma does not refer to a bad breakup, job stress, financial stress or a dysfunctional family. "It's misleading when the two get conflated and trivializes the lived experience of trauma survivors."

That doesn't mean people can't open up about awful things that have happened to them. In fact, it can serve as a concrete coping mechanism. Especially when a little humor is involved, as that can help push people to talk if they've been trepidatious. Hence, the candy salad.

"Rituals like creating a candy salad with friends and sharing it on social media can be cathartic," says Alice Shepard, clinical psychologist and the owner of Mirielle Therapy Practice. "It is similar to writing a letter to an ex or a parent who left and then reading it out loud and tearing it up. It is a way of processing grief and anger and saying I am taking agency over something unsavory that happened to me and making it just a little bit sweeter and more bearable."

As long as that's what's going on, the videos aren't a terrible idea. They may "offer an opportunity to take back some degree of control about the incident and in that way could be effective in helping someone process a challenging experience."

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'Our own spin on it'

Not all the videos involve sad and serious traumatic stories. One video features a friend group of lesbian women sharing something super on-the-nose about themselves that screams lesbian.

"It was just our way of doing our own spin on it," says Ashley Alder, who posted the video. Regarding the trend at large, she finds it interesting that people jump to the term "trauma dumping" when they're simply engaging with people they trust.

Alder asks: "Is it trauma dumping? Or is it just being vulnerable with your friends?"

Either way, "the quick videos are a bold statement to say this is me, and this happened to me," Shepard says. "Viewers laugh, cry and cringe. By connecting to their own lives, viewers feel a shared sense of emotional kinship and unburdening."

Trauma dumping:When your venting becomes 'toxic' to your friends

How else to deal with trauma

Not feeling the candy salad trend, or want other ways to handle trauma? Try these tips.

• Partake in self-care. In addition to spending time with loved ones, people should eat balanced meals and get adequate sleep, Johnson says. They may also consider otherwise reducing stress and journaling.
• Allow time to pass. "The vast majority of humans who live through a traumatic event recover naturally, with the passage of time and the support of family and friends," Jain says.
• Seek therapy. It's OK to find a therapist who can help you work through something gnawing at you. "Therapy helps people to make sense of what has happened," Shepard adds, "to understand conscious and unconscious ways the trauma impacts them and to get them out of being in a stuck place of repeating harmful patterns."

And the next time you find one of these clips, if you feel safe, think about what you'd say before tipping over some candy into a bowl. You might just find some camaraderie.

"These videos push against feelings of invisibility, isolation and debilitating self-judgment," Shepard says. "Ultimately, people want to feel seen and heard and have their individual life experiences fully recognized and appreciated."

Also, if you're trying this at home, Peanut M&Ms are the best ingredient for any candy salad. Trust us.